How to reach out when you need support

We all get by with a little help from our friends. But sometimes asking for that help can be hard.

Even with our good friends, we can feel worried about being a burden, fear rejection or be unsure about showing our true selves.

Learning how to lean on others can take some practise but the benefits are huge.

If you struggle to ask for support sometimes, try these tips:

Don’t assume that just because someone hasn’t already reached out to you, it means they don’t want to.

They may be unaware that you need them. While our own struggles loom large to us, they’re often not obvious to others. The only way people truly know what’s going with us is if we tell them. 

If you’re worried that your friend won’t respond well, you could start by testing the waters.

Ask for a little help with something small and see how it goes. 

It takes a lot of courage to show our vulnerability to others.

If the idea makes you anxious, then again try doing it little by little. Practise slowly offering up more about yourself and ensure that you feel comfortable that your friendship can support this.

It may be that there are some friends who are unable to provide us with the help we need when we need it.

It might depend on what’s happening in their own life or simply be the nature of the relationship. Focus on those friends who have shown themselves to be reliable and responsive in the past.

Remember that most people actually enjoy helping others.

It can be a very rewarding experience to be there for someone and ultimately help to strengthen and deepen the friendship. 


Download the Mentemia app for mental wellbeing tips and tools.


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