Becoming better with boundaries
Sometimes the reason that we’re stressed is that we’re trying to do too much.
How often do you say yes to taking on extra work, helping out friends or attending events because you want to please others?
In the moment, it might feel easier to agree to each request so that you don’t have to worry that you’ve disappointed anyone. But then you’re left with the stress of having to see it all through - even if you don’t feel up to it.
This is when knowing your boundaries can really help. Getting clear about what you are (and are not) willing to take on is the first step.
The important thing to know is that looking after your own needs and protecting your own energy is absolutely ok. When we understand this we are less likely to commit to things that conflict with our ability to do that.
Asserting those boundaries can be a challenge for some of us, especially if you’re not used to saying no. It’s one thing to realise that you don’t have the time or energy to do something - it’s another to tell that to the person who is asking you.
Like many things in life, this is a case where we get better with practice. Be fair but firm in your response and remember that the needs of others are not more important than your own.
Be prepared that not everyone will be happy with this response but know that it is not your job to make everyone happy.
This doesn’t make you unkind or unreasonable. There will be many opportunities for you to help others but they shouldn’t come at the expense of your own wellbeing.
Setting boundaries is one step to being kinder to ourselves.
To find some other ways we can show overselves compassion, check out ‘Cool to be kind’ in the Mentemia app. You can find it in the ‘End of year self-care’ collection, just go to Explore > Collections.