How many friends do you actually need?
The science might surprise you.
We’ve been told that two’s company, three’s a crowd.
We’ve also been told that having lots of friends is good. So, are we better off moving in small circles? Or, does a full social calendar make us happy? The answer is complicated, says science.
It’s also important to make time for yourself. For tips on how do put yourself first click here.
The magic number(s)
There’s a scientific consensus for how many close friends you need, and it’s probably not as many as you would think.
Five. One handful of names.
According to research by British psychologist Robin Dunbar, there are layers of relationships in our lives. Outside of your top five relationships, the rest are more like acquaintances.
At this moment, you’re probably thinking about your five closest friends and feeling awkward about leaving some friends or family members off the list.
However, Dunbar came up with another number – 148. This is how many people our brain will let us have a meaningful relationship with (any more, and our cognitive resources – brainpower – may struggle).
These relationships also come in layers. Dunbar believes you can be quite close to around 15 people and consider around 50 as good friends that you see infrequently. The rest? Casual folk who make up numbers at a birthday celebration or dress-up party.
But, these are really just numbers.
What matters most is that you feel supported by the relationships you do have – not the number of 'friends' you have on Facebook.
