How to let go of perfectionism
Want to feel happier, less stressed, and more positive? A good place to start is by letting go of perfectionism.
Chasing perfection takes a huge toll on your mental wellbeing. It’s an impossible goal – because perfection doesn’t exist.
What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is when you hold yourself and others to exceptionally high standards and strive for flawlessness even if ‘good enough’ would do just fine. It’s a state-of-mind we’re all vulnerable to from time to time. You might be a perfectionist about stacking the dishwasher or making the bed. This type of task-specific perfectionism is usually nothing to worry about. We all have our quirks!
When is perfectionism a problem?
Issues can arise when perfectionism affects several areas of your life and robs you of joy, satisfaction, and peace. Perfectionism is problematic if it increases anxiety, stress, and negative self-talk.
People who suffer from perfectionism tend to have good intentions. They are often hard-working, ambitious, and thoughtful. They want the best for themselves and others. But, when they fall short of their high expectations, they may feel self-critical, defensive, and even depressed.
Here are some common signs of unhealthy perfectionism:
Never feeling good enough
Lack of self-compassion
Trying to control your emotions
Comparing yourself to others
Low resilience
All or nothing thinking
Anxiety about unmet goals
Perfectionism can be hard to spot because it’s so closely tied to wanting to do well. But there’s a fine line between caring deeply and caring too much.
How to let go of perfectionism
On the other side of perfectionism is peace! Here are some techniques to help you let go.
Get curious
You can’t fix a problem if you don’t know what it is. How does perfectionism show up for you? Get curious and observe your perfectionistic tendencies – without judgment. After awareness comes action.
Make peace with being ‘good enough’
There’s no such thing as perfect! Good enough really is good enough. Adopt this mantra and repeat it often.
Embrace the journey
Perfectionism is very results-oriented. But, there’s plenty to enjoy about the journey towards a goal – celebrate small wins and try to enjoy the process.
See mistakes as opportunities
Everyone makes mistakes. We’re all human! A life without mistakes would be boring. Try to reframe your view of mistakes and see them as a great opportunity to learn and grow.
Practice acceptance
Let go of your desire to control. Some days will be hard, some will be easy. Accept that ups and downs are part of life.
Keep caring
If you struggle with perfectionistic tendencies, it’s a sign you care. That’s great! Keep caring, but not at the expense of your mental health. It’s possible to care and cut yourself some slack. Practice self-compassion and trust that you’re doing enough. Because you are!